Hello, I'm Lilliana
Life is a journey of discovery, with the purpose of becoming more our true selves; to love and be loved and to use our talents to satisfy our needs and pursue our dreams. For this we need to keep growing our self-awareness and stretching our potential. My work is all about relationship– our relationship to self, being in relationship with our partner, and our relations with others. I work with individuals and with couples to better understand emotions and behaviour, to work through difficult issues and to build more resilient, healthier, happier relationships.
I trained at the Australian College of Applied Psychology in Sydney, and at Ashridge Business School in the UK. I am a member of the Association for Coaching, the British Association for Counselling and Pyschotherapy, and the BACP’s Coaching division. My professional development includes Systemic Constellations, and using this approach for working with couples. I use Harville Hendrix’ Imago Therapy model and I regularly attend training in Germany with Dr David Schnarch, learning his Crucible approach for couples. I continually draw on the wisdom of many experts including John Gottman, Sue Johnson, James Hollis and Esther Perel.
My personal story began in the UK, the second of five kids. When I was 13, my family moved to Jakarta, Indonesia where I spent my teenage years. We had a rich and unconventional life. As a young adult, I made Sydney home, working in film and television. Personal development programmes have been important throughout my life, both individually and later as a couple. I married and had children and relished family life, but the relationship was difficult. We sought help from several counsellors – sadly little was useful –although this experience is valuable now.
Lacking the self-awareness and skills to improve our relationship, we divorced after nearly 20 years. We did manage the process of separating pretty well, and my ex and I continue to have a supportive relationship. We were able process the loss, reflect and learn from our history, and each of us found new love. This journey was the catalyst for great personal change; I trained in counselling and it soon became clear that relationship therapy is what really engaged and inspired me.
In 2007 I returned to England to begin a new life with a new man. Between us we have seven adult children and six grandchildren, and with my four siblings, the meaning of family has become very rich and geographically diverse, as we’re spread over many countries.
I am so grateful for the deeply satisfying, growthful relationship with my husband, and I feel passionately that my work is to share what I know and continue learn – to help others to love well.